Remembering The “I” When There’s A “We”

Do you notice yourself getting out of your groove in the beginning of a relationship? Forgetting about the gym, cooking, girls/guys night out – all because the only thing you really want to do is hang out with your new partner?

The common answer is yes. And, while bailing here and there is okay, at some point a line needs to be drawn. You have to pull yourself out of that comfy bed with your new bedmate and get back to reality – resuming those daily tasks you had before they came around.

And it’s hard, trust me.

All I want to do is hang out with my boyfriend – but in doing that, out went my routine. The gym has now been replaced by fancy meals and nights out. Now, don’t get me wrong, I’d much rather be dressed up overlooking the Hollywood Hills at a fancy restaurant then sweating my ass off after 8 hours of work, but realistically, my body can’t afford that.

And it’s no one’s fault – you like your significant other so much that you want to surround yourself with them. Is that really a crime?

While being with them constantly is tempting, one must remember “girl/man time” is necessary for anyone who wishes to keep sanity. And while, I don’t necessarily believe “distance makes the heart grown fonder,” I know that some distance is good. I also know guys dig independent women. You need to continue the rituals that make you happy – usually, the ones you had before “you” became a “we.” When a relationship is fresh, those are often swept under the rug.

For me, it was this column on the website. Struggling to find a happy medium between real life and the old raunchy self who sold dating advice like Jessica Biel sells sex. And while I’m crazy about the man I fell head over heels for, I’m still learning how to balance the old habits and rituals while scoring new ones — and I’m not going to lie, it’s fucking hard but so important.

So here’s my advice: don’t get so wrapped up that you lose the qualities and passions that made him fall for you in the first place. Stick to the things that made you happy because if you lose yourself, you’ll lose your significant other too. I will always have my independence and, while I might get off track at times, you better believe your ass I’ll get back on.

To all my readers, I want to reassure you that just because I have a boyfriend doesn’t mean the raunchy stories will stop. It just means I’ll be using my single girlfriend’s wild hookups a little more. So, let me encourage the sluttiness now and say my thank you’s ahead of time. You know who you are

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